The Memoirs of a Lost Boy
by A Sky Bison
Summary: Baelfire was a complex character with one of the most interesting backstories of the show. The writers let many unanswered questions, but here I will show you the life of our favorite lost boy (even though in the end, he wasn't so lost as many may think).
1. There's still hope

**There's still hope**

He had just walked a few meters away from his home when he hit his nose with an invisible wall. He put his hand and tried to break it or push it, but no, it was solid as a king's castle. Sighing, Baelfire went to the backyard shack. He should've foreseen that his papa wouldn't have let him go so easily again.

He sat down on the floor and hugged his knees, letting a few tears fall and this time he didn't bother to wipe them away.

How was it possible that everything went downhill just in a few months? And it was all his damn fault.

He could've saved his father, prevent him from taking that stupid dagger. But he didn't tried enough. Bae failed him. Just as his papa failed him today, when he didn't trust him enough to ask him if he wanted to come home.

The sun when down and he felt the wind running through his hair, but he wasn't ready to face his papa again. It hurt so much.

"Bae, come inside son. It's getting darker."

He flinched at the sound of his father's voice. Since the curse, he has gotten sneakier and he wondered if his papa secretly like it to startle him. That thought made him feel a warmth spreading all over his heart. They used to tease each other like that, it was kind of a silly game but it was their father and son thing.

"I don't want to," he replied stubbornly, though he was afraid that he would get mad and do something to him with his magic. But he was being stupid, his papa would never harm him…would he?

Bae heard him sighed.

"I know you're angry," he tried again. "I'm sorry I let you down, but I do trust you Bae."

"That's why you put magic boards all around the house" Bae murmured.

His father didn't answer.

"Your silence betrays you papa."

"Bae...it's just...it's complicated."

"I'm not a baby, I would understand."

Still quiet.

It sucked that they'd been fighting a lot lately. Bae loved his father of course, but sometimes everything was too much.

It wasn't like he had a lot of friends. Before the curse, everyone made fun of him because he was the coward of the village's son—he knew the reason why they called him like that and if they believed that being a father was cowardice then screw them—so the only friends that he had were the ones who didn't care about what people say and know everyone just runaway when he was around because they were afraid of him.

Heck, he would preferred to pick up a fight with all of his bullies than being ignored or treated like he had a disease.

"Look Bae—"

"Papa, I seriously don't need another apologize."

"No it's not that, well yes, I'm sorry. I truly am". He babbled and took a deep breath before he continued. "But the thing is that...I'm...scared, scared of losing _you_. That one day you're going to leave and never come back".

Oh.

Bae bite his lip. He didn't know how to answer to that. It was a while since they had a heart to heart talk.

"Papa I—I want to see places. I don't want to stay here forever," he admitted, "but I promise that I'm always going to come back."

His father wasn't looking at him and Bae suspected his eyes had gotten teary. Baelfire didn't know if he was a little bit happy that his papa was still inside of the man that everyone called The Dark One or upset because he was really harsh to him. Maybe a bit of both.

"Papa, I'm never going to leave you" Bae assured him, "I promise."

His papa finally turned his head with a smile, and if it wasn't for the weird skin he looked like his old kind gentle papa.

"But still, if I let you out of my side people is going to hurt you."

"Papa—"

"I'm serious Baelfire. People won't stop making deals with me and sometimes the results are not always going to be pleasant. If something goes wrong they would try to hurt you to blackmail me."

He had a point, but there had to be a way.

"What about you let me go with you whenever you have to do something." When his father opened his mouth to protest Bae started to talk faster. "I don't have to be right beside you, just close enough to you to hear me yell if I'm in danger."

_Please say yes, please, please._

Even if his father was hesitant he managed to hear an almost inaudible:

"Ok."

"Yes!" Baelfire yelled, "Thank you so much, thank you, thank you."

"But you have to tell me everything bad that happens, got it?"

"Yeah."

Of course he would try to stay away as much as possible from trouble so his papa wouldn't harm anyone. His temperament was way different now and he got angry easier, with Bae being an exception thank the gods. He didn't want any more people to suffer because of him again.

"Let's get inside my boy. The soup must be cold by now."

"Aren't you going to take down the barriers?"

"Oh sure."

His papa made a gesture with his hand and the magic boards disappeared like a flash. Then, he offered him a hand to help him stand and together they walked into their cottage.

Baelfire knew things would never be the same, but that didn't mean his life needed to be horrible. He was going to make sure his father stay the same, he wasn't going to turn into a monster. Bae was his anchor and that was enough for now. He wasn't going to lose hope.

* * *

**A/N:Ok, so this is basically going to be events of Bae's life. This one is situated after the fight Baelfire and Rumple had in 2x04. And there are not going to be in a particular order. Hope you enjoyed it and let me know what you think**


	2. Our Valentine's Day

**Our Valentine's Day**

Neal Cassidy has never been a festive person, much less for such a day like today. 14th of February. Mainly because he has never had anyone to celebrate it. That was, of course until a few weeks ago when he met Emma Swan and if he could describe her in one word it would be a warrior. Both of them had lived things, terrible things and they were aware of that, but neither of them talk about them.

The first week was awkward. Even if their meeting hadn't been like that, they couldn't denied there was a thick wall between them because they had been hurt and betrayed before and yet they didn't split apart in different ways. Maybe because they were alone and didn't had anyone to relay on.

It was kind of sad that they decided to stick together just because they couldn't think in a better option. But eventually they became friends when they learned to trust each other. It helped a lot that Emma reminded him of Wendy. The two girls had the same spirit of freedom or maybe he just had something with blonde-haired girls. Morraine was a blonde too after all and she had been his best friend such a long time ago.

And no, he wasn't trying to replace any of them and in some kind of ways it hurt to see the resemblances, but the majority of time it was more of a reassurance.

Oh but what he didn't expect at all was the tickling sensation in his stomach every time Emma smiled, looked at him directly at the eyes, or laughed at something stupid he said. How was he supposed to react to that? He couldn't ignore that feeling, he couldn't run away just because he was scared. He _didn't_ want to run away.

So here he was, sitting in the grass with a decent picnic blanket and food. He managed to take a few aromatic candles, a bouquet and the view of the lake in front of him was spectacular. It wasn't a lot but he hoped it was enough.

He heard a footsteps coming directly where he was and his heart started to beat so fast that for a moment he thought he was going to have a heart attack. Then, Emma appeared in his view with the clothes she was wearing the first day they met. The only difference was that she let her hair down this time.

"Uh…what's this?" she said sitting at his side.

"Dinner."

He took a red plastic plate with a salad bagel sandwich and he handed to her. Her eyes were wide open and maybe he had managed to impress her.

"I see that."

Her gaze was fixed in the colorful bouquet and Neal could notice a little smile forming in her face.

"But what about the flowers and the candles?"

"Well…the flowers are for you and the candles are just decoration."

"Oh…ah…thanks?"

"You welcome."

He knew she was going to be like that. Between the two, she was the more distant and he didn't mind that much. The only thing Neal could do was show all his support and let her know that he was here for her.

The rest of the night was as normal as it could be. They laughed, they ate, and they talked about nonsense things like always. But still, something felt weird. Maybe it was because tonight his heart couldn't stop beating like a drum.

They ended up sitting really close to each other, looking at the stars as if they were the most gorgeous thing in the world, but for Neal, the real wonder of the world was next to him.

"Okay Neal," said Emma forcing him to look away, because _damn_ she was beautiful with the light of the candles reflecting her golden hair and he just couldn't stop feeling terrified, "What's really going on?"

His hands were starting to sweat and the words began to crush his throat.

"What do you mean?"

"It's just that everything looks really romantic y'know?" Her voice softness a little. "Like a-"

"Date?"

She turned away and even with the lack of light, Neal could see a blush on her cheeks.

"Yeah, like a date."

If he didn't contemplate their first real talk in the carousel, this would be their first date, but he didn't know if she was comfortable with that.

"Well it depends of how you want to see it." He ventured to say.

She kept her eyes focused on her flower tattoo.

"How do you want to call it?" she said.

_This your moment. C'mon Cassidy, this is your only chance._

"Umm…it's pretty much like a date to me." He hoped she didn't notice the little tremble in his voice. "Emma…I…you…really make me happy, I love to be with you, you're my best friend but know I'm starting to think in you as something more than just a best friend and I really like you."

He wasn't sure she managed to understand everything he said because he started to talk quickly, but the look in her face told him that at least she heard the most important.

"Emma… C-Can I kiss you?" He realized how stupid he was when the words came out of his mouth and he mentally slapped himself. "I-I mean…you don't have to…I was just-"

He was cut off by Emma's lips on his own. He closed his eyes feeling like his neurons were exploding like fireworks, then the sensation expanded to his chest and if it wasn't beating faster enough before, now it would definitely broke an electrocardiograph. It made him feel safe. It made him feel at home.

* * *

**A/N: This was supposed to be out yesterday, but I had to study for my tests. So anyways, Happy belated San Valentine's Day!**


	3. Trapped

**Written for the Neal Cassidy/Baelfire Appreciation Week. **

**Day 1. Favorite Arc: ****_Neverland_**

**Trapped**

He was screaming. Screaming for his father, begging him to come with him.

_Coward! You_ _**promised! **_

After all these years? After all those problems he got himself into just because he was defending _him_? Every punch he received every time he didn't want to accept the truth. His father wasn't a coward, he came home to him, and that was all that mattered. But now, he could only see green but he knew his face was red.

_Liar_. He lied to himself. His father wasn't only a coward, he was selfish, heartless. He only cared about himself.

And then, his father lightened the grip (he didn't know if it was his imagination, but did his father's mouth looked like a smirk?) And he fell and fell. The darkness consumed his mind.

Baelfire woke up.

He groaned at the same time he rubbed his eyes. Even if the cave was pretty dark, in the distance he could hear the birdsong indicating that the sun had risen.

What was he supposed to do?

He had run away from the camp last night. Again. He hated to sound of boys crying for their parents and Peter didn't seem to mind if he was there or not as long as he returned in the morning. But he didn't want to return.

Yes, many of the lost boys were his friends (mostly the ones the shadow took against their will) but Pan's games were too much. The only person who enjoyed them was him. There wasn't a day in which someone didn't end up with a scar or scrape. Bae had just needed two weeks to realize that Peter Pan was an evil, cruel demon disguised as a teenager.

When he learned about his magic pipes and how he manipulated other's people feelings he _knew_ they were just toys. Toys in his stupid, stupid game.

Why he did it? He didn't know. But he wanted answers and he wanted to go home.

_Home._

Where exactly was that?

A long time ago he would've said with his father. In their humble shack, where could spend his entire day watching his papa spinning wool until it transformed into a beautiful piece of cloth, or where he could run with Morraine in the forest playing hide and seek. But that home was gone so many years ago.

Was it with the Darlings? In London?

Yes.

But how much time had passed since he was there? Months? Years? Did they still even remember him? What if…what if…he had been here for a long, long time and they were…

He didn't wanted to finish that thought.

Baelfire needed to focus on something else. One of his friends, Curly, had asked him if they were going to be here forever, playing and dancing around the fire with no purposes in life. Well, that was a painful punch in Baelfire's gut. Since he was a little boy, he had wanted to do something important, to make a difference. Maybe because he wanted to prove that he wasn't destined to failure. Maybe he just wanted to shut the mouths of his bullies.

And then, he knew what he needed to do. It didn't matter if he didn't have a family to return anymore. He was going to find a way out of the island.

He couldn't save his father, yet he saved Wendy's family and now he was going to save his friends.

He was a lost boy, but that didn't mean he was Pan's lost boy.

* * *

**A/N: I'm sorry! I know is too short. Not my best.**


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